Demon, Human, Angel, or None of The Above?
by BizzyLizy
Summary: It wasn't every day that you'd find yourself inside of a plot to overthrow the matriarch of the Suoh family, especially when it was put together by her own son. However, it wasn't any of Kunai's business — Oh, wait, it is. (REWRITTEN!)
1. Beginnings and Obligations

**Thanks to EllatheYoukai (your name is so fitting this chapter), A.A. Enchanted Crystal Blade, GuyFromGa11ifrey, Mayfleet, thealitaylor, and Mahad for F/F!**

 **Welcome to Demon, Human, Angel, or None of the Above? - Take Two! (Aka, get ready for a bunch of angsty teen stuff). Thanks so much for all of your patience these past few months - I really appreciate it!**

 _ **Chapter One,**_

 _ **Beginnings and Obligations**_

…

It wasn't that he particularly enjoyed his line of work.

" _I swear to all the gods that exist on this ball of mud that if you try that again, I will kick your ass all the way to Neverland."_

It was just something he had to do because that's the way it had always been. He had no choice in the matter, really. His mother did it, so did his mother's parents, and their parents before her.

" _You will go to Ouran Middle School in the new semester and I don't want to hear any arguments."_

He never really thought about it before. Whether it was right or wrong, whether there was actually any point to what he was doing.

" _My name is Satou Haruka, and you?"_

Haruka. The girl who made him stop and think. She asked questions, many, many questions that, even though he thought he knew everything there was about himself, he could never find the answers to them.

" _My name is…"_

….

Kunai jerked upward at the sound of the bell on the door jingling, signaling that a customer had entered the cafe. He hastily snapped his notebook shut, shoving it into the pocket of his apron and stepping out from behind the counter to greet his guests.

"Welcome," Kunai offered the young couple a warm smile and two small, colourful menus. It was obviously handmade in the sense that you could see that both had been crudely coloured in with pencil crayons and decorated in differing drawings. "Table for two?"

The brown-haired boy ignored their inquisitive stares toward his eyepatch—it was something you got used to after four years of wearing it—and led the duo to a small table near the window, leaving them to chat with each other while they decided their orders.

"You were really spaced out for a few minutes there, Ai," A boy with a head full of teal-blue hair snickered at his co-worker from behind a small window that led to the kitchen. "Better watch out, or Ryuu-kun and Red'll have your ass."

Kunai rolled his eyes, used to his friend's antics. "Shut up, Tao," He glanced back over to the couple, keeping an eye on them.

"I bet you were writing about your girlfriend," Tao teased, leaning forward to get a better view of Kunai. "Something about how you love how her _beautiful_ black hair shimmers in the sunlight, that there's nobody else you love most in the _world_ —" Kunai whacked Tao in the face with the back of his hand, effectively cutting the other boy off.

"— _Ex-_ girlfriend, and at least I _had_ a girlfriend, unlike _someone,_ " Kunai scoffed, turning back to the counter. It had a nice, clean-looking varnish on it, making it look shiny and a nice rich brown, matching the rest of the rustic-style cafe. The walls were washed in a soft, soothing orange that had small, light purple decorations in the corners. All in all, it was easy on the eyes for the most part, unless you had something against the colour orange. "You just flirt with every person you see." Tao shrugged, not even denying it.

"What can I say? The seeds of love scatter in many different places, my friend." Kunai snorted in response to Tao's words.

"More like the seeds of lust." He ignored his friend's cries of indignation and strode over to get the orders at the couple's table, quickly returning and tossing the paper he wrote them down on back at Tao. "Here you go, _Master-Chef,"_ Tao rolled his eyes and picked up the paper, skimming over the sloppily written words.

"Why thank you, _Silver-san,"_ The blue haired boy promptly turned away from his friend, leaving Kunai to his thoughts—and dishes.

He absentmindedly wondered how busy the store was going to get in a few hours. The store, Sweets and Treats, was typically very busy during lunchtime and dinnertime so Kunai tried to avoid getting his shifts on those hours. However, he tended to accidentally anger his manager which would result in more shifts during rush hours.

Kunai shook his head and sighed, knowing that he would most likely be roped into doing a long day today as well. On the bright side, it gave him more pocket money to spend. For a family on the richer side, his mother was somewhat frugal due to her "commoner" lifestyle before meeting his father, resulting in Kunai wearing his older brother and sister's hand-me-down's until he reached the age of twelve. It resulted in quite a few misunderstandings about his gender between him and his classmates when he was younger.

"Oi! Kunai," Tao hissed from the window under his breath. His grey eyes were wide and frantic. "Watch what you're doing!"

Kunai glanced down to see that the water in the sink had started to freeze over and dropped the glass in surprise, muttering a curse under his breath. He had a bad habit of freezing things when he spaced out. Luckily for him, only Tao noticed.

Kunai waved his hand over the sink discreetly, focusing on the slushed up water, willing the ice to go away with his mind. It did, but it left the temperature in the negatives, which meant that he was going to have to start over.

 _Damn it._

…

" _Rule number one: Never reveal your powers in front of someone you don't trust through and through, human or otherwise."_

…

"—and that's why learning about the history of Japan is important." The teacher had written down notes about important time periods and people, along with several other small details. "Not understanding the past leads to more misunderstandings and conflicts in the future."

 _What I wouldn't give for a mute button right now,_ Kunai thought dully, staring blankly at the front of the room and nodding along mechanically with the rest of the class. One boy in particular seemed to be having trouble keeping up, his brown eyes glazing over and a confused frown creasing his face. Kunai couldn't blame him. It was about as entertaining as watching a cat clean itself.

Kunai glanced over at the clock above the doorway, watching the second hand inch its way along the white circle. _Okay, I just have to get through ten minutes two times, and I'm out of here—or I guess five minutes four times._ Kunai let out an almost inaudible groan, lightly tapping his forehead to the desk. He heard a couple giggles from behind him and several whispers that he could barely make out some of the words to.

"… _Silver-san… Tired… Cute…"_

" _Hikaru-kun… Wait to see him… Host club…"_

"… _Tamaki-senpai is so… New cosplay…"_

Kunai shook his head, thinking that he must've misheard their words. They couldn't've just said 'cosplay,' right? Right?

A hand tapping impatiently against his desk yanked Kunai out of his thoughts.

" _Silver-san,"_ The teacher said, shooting a deadly glare over at him. Kunai straightened up quickly as the giggles from behind him got louder. "If you could pay attention until the end of class, it would be greatly appreciated." _Crap._

"Yes, Yamaguchi-sensei," The teacher looked satisfied with his monotone answer and walked back to the board, continuing his lecture.

Kunai slouched in his seat again, taking a better look at his classmates.

On his first day at Ouran Middle School, he'd noticed that there was a surprising amount of non-human students at the school. Even now, in high school, he had a few non-human classmates but he couldn't figure out what some of them were. There were only two Kunai was able to identify through their glamour which helped hide some of their more… otherworldly features. As far as Kunai could tell, there was an _Amemasu_ , a type of shape-shifting fish, and a _Uwabami_ , a snake-like shape shifter that could control the elements to some extent.

Both were fairly unexpected since they typically stayed out in the wilderness, away from humans but, perhaps, they were half-human, like Kunai himself.

Either way, he didn't plan on bothering them.

…

" _Rule number two: Don't cause conflict, argue, or draw attention to yourself unless necessary. You'll just get yourself killed."_

…

"Chairman's office, chairman's office," I hummed, scanning the doors for Suoh Yuzuru's name.

My mother had informed me over the phone during lunch break that the chairman of Ouran wanted to meet with me again for some reason. She sounded oddly serious, unlike her normally cheerful demeanour. Mom said that they had worked out a deal to pay back the Suoh family for what they did for us in the past. Of course, I agreed. The chairman was to give me the details today after school. "Ah, here is is."

I stifled a yawn as I found the door, walking through and giving a polite smile to the secretary who was behind the desk. She waited for me to speak, staring at me expectantly.

"I have an appointment with the chairman…" I said, almost phrasing it like a question as I got distracted by the various painting on the walls. They were bright and vibrant, painting a picture of the personality of the chairman himself. "I was supposed to come down today?"

"Name?"

"Silver Kunai." The secretary nodded and started typing away on her computer, most likely searching me up in the database. She glanced down at her notes, then back up at the computer.

"Yes, here you are… Silver Kunai-san, supposed to talk to the chairman about extracurriculars and get your student card, right?" I fidgeted with my hands nervously. That wasn't what I was coming to talk about, however, I guessed it was going to be a cover for whatever he wanted me to do. _Great_. That's not suspicious at _all._

"Yep, that's me," I agreed, glancing over to the large wooden door behind her. It was very fancily decorated with a gold trim and several carved designs. "Should I wait…?" The secretary shook her head with another small smile.

"No, feel free to go in and get comfortable. I'm not aware of any other visitors or meetings today, so you should be fine." I nodded as she gestured to the door I was looking at and gave her a slight bow.

"Alright, thank you." I moved over to the door and pushed it open curiously, poking my head inside first to made sure I wasn't interrupting anything. "Excuse me, I'm here for my appointment."

A man with tanned skin and kind grey eyes glanced up from his desk as I spoke, shuffling paper around it. He stared at me blankly for a few moments before his eyes lit up in recognition.

"Ah, yes, Kunai-kun, how nice to see you again," Yuzuru Suoh gave me a practised, warm smile, setting down his work. "Please, come in."

I glanced around the room, noting the large amount of photos on his desk and the large window behind him, revealing the clock tower that was at the center of the campus. "I'm sure your mother has already told you that I have a favour to ask of you." I eyed him warily, remembering my mother's warning not to take his words at face-value. He had the ability to completely destroy my family with one wave of his hand and was a notorious manipulator. Yuzuru was still wearing that disarming smile, leaning forward onto his interlaced hands. "Please, take a seat."

I looked around for a moment before sitting down in what felt like a leather armchair. I shifted uncomfortably as I spoke. "Yes, at least, she told me that there was a way to pay you back for your kindness all those years ago." Yuzuru shook his head with a small smile, negating my words.

"No, that was what any other person would've done in that situation."

"Regardless, you still saved my mother's life from the men pursuing our father and for that we will be eternally grateful."

"I heard your father died a couple years ago in an accident. He was a great man both in and out of business and a pleasure to work with—my condolences to you and your family," Yuzuru said, his eyebrows furrowing. "He was truly a kind man, your father."

I pressed my lips together, giving him a curt nod. I was still a little sore about that topic. "Thank you. Now, back to the topic at hand, what was it that you wished to discuss with me?" The drawn out small talk was making me anxious. Yuzuru let out a sigh and leaned back, his grey eyes suddenly laced with exhaustion.

"Getting right to it, I have a plan that I need help with—however, doing so may possibly put my son, Tamaki, in danger." I glanced down at the photos of a blond teen with sparkling violet eyes.

In one, he was standing next to a beautiful blonde haired woman, clearly very happy. In another, he was surrounded by a group of male teens and a couple girls, a large grin on his face. "I assume you've heard about my 'illegitimate' child whom I had out of wedlock with a woman from France." I nodded.

It was common knowledge around the school that the chairman's son had happened in an affair. I'd come across the kid a couple times in the lunchroom and, honestly, I just figured it was some kind of rumour. Kids were nasty, whether or not they were rich.

"Well, I plan to make him legitimate." I raised an eyebrow at his bold declaration. _That's gonna be a hell of a lot of work, buddy._ "To do so, I've already contacted the Ootori family to help me."

"So, where do I come into play?" Yuzuru stared me straight in the eye, dead serious and threatening.

"You mustn't tell anyone about these plans, Kunai-kun, as I'm sure you realize. What I'm planning to do is incredibly dangerous and risky, and could possibly destroy your relations with numerous powerful families if done incorrectly." Ouch. That would—in a word— _suck_. Our family practically lived off of the wealthier families that came to our shops and shrines or bought our statues. If that were to be cut off, we would be screwed. "If you were found out, the Suoh family would not back you up - and I'm sure you realize the consequences if you don't accept my offer. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes." _No. Not at all. What the hell are you planning?_

…

" _Rule number three: Never reveal your weakness or allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of others."_

…

The chairman's room was filled with tense silence as Kunai processed what he'd just heard. Yuzuru was right—it was certainly risky, but it would yield high rewards for everyone involved. All he had to do was keep anyone suspicious away from his kid's club. However, if word got around about what Yuzuru meant to do, it would become problematic. Not to mention, if he backed out, the Suoh family would start destroying their source of income.

"…I know it's a lot to ask, but I would really appreciate any help I could get," Yuzuru said, his brow creasing in concern for the young man in front of him. "With your abilities, it would surely be much easier to keep away the riffraff. What do you say?"

Kunai stayed quiet for a moment, his light blue eye closed in thought. "I'll do it."

"What?"

Kunai looked up, resolved in his decision. "I'll do it. You've done so much for us in the past, and we _do_ owe you."

Yuzuru's eyes went wide for a moment before switching to an expression of delight. "Thank you, really, thank you so much," He let out a relieved laugh, giving Kunai a smile so happy you'd think he had just offered the man a million bucks—not that he'd need it as a multi-millionaire. "And I have the perfect way for you to get near my son without much suspicion, provided you work hard."

"Work?" A feeling of dread washed over Kunai. _Oh god, he doesn't want me to become part of the staff at his estate, does he?_

…


	2. Meeting the Host Club!

**Thanks to YourFriendBob for F/F!**

 **MKspaceCow: Aw, thanks! I restarted after going back and looking at what I'd written - it was Gary-Stu-ish, and I had no idea where I was going with the plot. Plus, my characters weren't very well thought out, so I wanted to redo it. Thanks so much for reviewing and sticking with the story!**

 **Chapter Two,**

 **Meeting the Host Club!**

…

" _Do not become entangled with naive and close-eyed Earthborn. Nothing good will ever come of it."_

…

"For the history assignment, should we, like, go to the library after school tomorrow instead of coming to your house?" A girl with curly black hair and soft brown eyes chatted with the boy sitting beside her on a rolling chair. She sighed as she glanced at the reference sheet lying next to her on the bed, seeing the vast amount of research they needed to do.

"Mm, that'd probably be the best idea," The redhead beside her said in agreement, staring at his computer, only half paying attention to his friend. "Although, that's gonna take a bite out of my blogging time." His russet eyes reflected the screen which was covered in blog rankings. "Since school's started, I've gone down in the rankings. I'm only at twelve now, Sayuri, can you believe it?"

Sayuri looked decidedly unimpressed with both him and his blog. "Wow. Heaven forbid you spend time doing a school project, Red. No wonder you're only in the B class."

"What? The classes are based on wealth and pedigree, and you know that. Besides, I do my work—unlike you and Tao, I might add."

"That was _one_ time—"

 _SLAM!_

The two teenagers jerked their heads toward the source of the sound, seeing an out of breath Kunai marching into the room. He grabbed Sayuri's shoulders firmly, staring directly into her eyes and making her squirm. " _I have something to tell you,"_ Kunai hissed, shaking her lightly.

"Uh, okay?"

Red glanced over from the computer as Sayuri spoke, raising an eyebrow. "Do I get to hear too?"

...

The trio sat in silence in Red's mostly pristine room, Sayuri looking dumbfounded and Red processing the information. He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand.

"So, what you're telling me is this: you're involved in a secret plot to overthrow the matriarch of the Suoh family by keeping away any hindrances from the Host Club; but not only that, the Ootori family is involved and you're supposed to befriend this Suoh kid by somehow joining his club?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it," Kunai said.

"Even though this may completely ruin your family's reputation and revenue?"

"Yep."

Red scowled at his friend, leaning down and smacking him over the head. "You might as well just go rip out the rest of your eye while you're at it for how much that's going to do for you." Kunai let out a yelp of pain (Red was fairly muscular, Kunai was not) and shuffled out of his reach.

"Hey, it was my mom's idea, not mine!"

"Ella-san agreed to this?" Sayuri asked, incredulous, finally shaking off the surprise. "Really?"

Kunai shrugged. "At least, she told me to talk to the Chairman to work out how we can work off the debt."

"Oh, come on," Red shook his head. "All he did was pull a _Jatai_ off of Ella-san's head. I mean, pulling a haunted kimono obi off of someone's head really isn't that hard." Kunai and Sayuri gave Red a pointed look. "What?"

"Clearly you've never been with Kunai when it's happened," Sayuri muttered. "What a pain that night was. Now I know to never leave your sash beside your pillow when you go to bed—I still get nightmares from that."

"Sorry," Kunai offered her a sheepish smile. "At any rate, how the hell am I supposed to tell who's bad and who's good? You know I suck at discerning people's faces apart, let alone danger."

Sayuri shrugged. As a dryad, a tree spirit, she wasn't that much better. Other than Tao, Red was the only other one who was good at faces—crows always had exceptional memory. "Maybe just freeze everyone that comes near?"

"No, no, they run a _host club_ , remember? That wouldn't work." Kunai paused, giving her a sidelong glance. "Wait a minute, don't you go there all the time with some of your classmates?"

"Eh, only once a week-ish. They're very nice to look at," Sayuri said, shrugging. "They're a great distraction from stress."

"Escaping reality, eh?"

Red coughed into his fist to catch their attention. "Why don't we just ask the chairman about strategies to prevent accidents?" He asked, leaning forward. "I mean, it's not like there's going to be a bunch of troublesome people, cross-dressers, and idiots. Surely they can handle some of it themselves."

"Ah, crap."

"What?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell anyone."

...

"In the 1990's, NTT is divided into a holding company and three other... blah, blah, blah, who actually reads this crap?"

Red glanced up from the book he was skimming through, rolling his eyes. "Our teacher, obviously, and anyone who wants to pass the class."

"I _hate_ this project," Sayuri groaned over the chatter of the other students—who were definitely not studying—, thumping her head against the library table. After Kunai had left, the duo had decided to meet at the library lunch break the next day to gather information for their project. "Who cares what companies merged and divided in 1990, and why do we have to do a presentation? I _hate_ presentations!"

"Yeah, I know, you've said that several times over the past few minutes,"

"Just let me write a paper or something, my classmates don't need to see how much I suck at it." Despite her complaining, Sayuri opened up the book once more and started to jot down notes for their project. "It's not like I'm taking over my family's company, I don't need to do presentations."

Red sighed and placed his book back on the shelf, scanning the shelves for one about NNT. "If only it could be like our drama class—y'know, with all of the stage combat."

"Red."

"Yeah?"

"You're a genius."

...

"...Lemme get this straight," Kunai said, eyeing his two grinning best friends warily. "You want _me_ to come into _your_ class to help you do _your_ presentation—and _I'm_ getting punched."

"That's pretty much it, yup."

Kunai promptly turned on his heel and stalked off, only to get forcibly dragged back by both Red and Sayuri. "Hey! Let me go!"

"C'mon, please? It won't hurt—you did drama last year, right? You know stage combat!" Sayuri pleaded, holding Kunai back as he struggled to escape their grip. "We'll buy you some clay!"

Kunai paused, processing the offer. "How much clay?"

"Two blocks."

"Four."

"Deal!" Sayuri released him and stepped back, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Alright, brace yourself."

"Wait, we're doing this _now?"_

"Might as well," Red said, shuffling so that he was out of the way of the attack. "It's the end of the day." Kunai grumbled a bit but obliged, standing in a neutral position in front of Sayuri. "You ready?"

"As much as I'll ever be." He looked up and made eye contact with Sayuri as Red stood on the sidelines. _Asshole,_ Kunai thought, noticing the snickers Red tried to hide with a cough.

Sayuri used her right arm to measure the distance between herself and Kunai, stepping back to wind up her punch. Kunai sucked in a breath of surprise as they lost eye contact just as she was about to hit him. He ducked with a yelp of "Blood!" but to his surprise, her fist never even made it so far as her shoulder.

A tall teen with sharp grey eyes loomed over the black-haired girl, holding back her hand as another spoke. "Sayako-san, I'm afraid that violence of any kind is not tolerated at Ouran Academy."

Glancing behind the gigantic teen, Kunai saw a boy with black hair and flashing glasses who was holding a notebook. Around him was a group of boys of various families he vaguely recognized from the photo in the Chairman's photos. One, however, stood out.

"Such a lovely lady like yourself shouldn't resort to such brutish methods to deal with ruffians," He said, kneeling down on one knee and gently taking Sayuri's hand. The violet eyed boy looked up at her, brushing her cheek with his other hand. "Please, let us handle this problem."

"...Uh," Red tugged Sayuri away from the boy, putting a protective arm around her shoulder. "Suoh-senpai, I'm afraid you have the wrong idea." Kunai's ears perked up. _Suoh?_ That explained why he looked so familiar. "We're just practising some stage combat for our history class."

"History class?" Two redheads chorused, sneaking closer. _Identical twins, great, that's gonna make my job a hell of a lot harder if these are the people I'm gonna have to hang out with._ "Why would you need combat for history class?"

Kunai gave them an approving nod. "That's exactly what I said!"

"Liar, you just wanted us to buy your clay," Sayuri said, rolling her eyes. "You and your statutes."

Kunai didn't even try to deny it. "Yeah, well, at least I'm contributing to the family business," He said with a small grin on his face. "You just eat all the stuff in your stores."

"Shut up, I'm taste testing them!"

" _Every_ store?"

"Agh, shut up!"

As they bickered, Red sighed and bowed to the group, leaving the twins' question unanswered. "Sorry about these two, I'll be sure to watch them in the future." The teen with a notebook nodded sharply, looking somewhat satisfied. "They're a couple of idiots but they don't mean any harm to anyone—except each other." _And in Kunai's case, his siblings,_ Red grumbled inwardly.

"We are not!"

"I have higher marks than you," Kunai hissed, shooting a glare at Red, who rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, in your dreams."

"Why you—!" The host club watched them squabble for the second time with various levels of amusement, concern, surprise, and annoyance; their eyes darting back and forth between the two like watching a ping-pong game.

The boy with messy brown hair and matching eyes shifted over to the boy who'd spoken before. "Kyoya-senpai, who are these people?" He eyed the girl who was swatting Kunai for making a comment about her weight.

Kyoya sighed, pushing up his glasses and snapping his notebook open, skimming through it. He gestured to the red haired boy first. "Yumera Reginald-san, the first son of the Yumera Corporation which manufactures various types of consumer items, mostly focusing on supplies for animal care. He's a first year in the B class." He paused, looking over at the girl. "Sayako Sayuri-hime, a weekly customer of Honey-senpai, B class, first year. Her family runs several stores that sell confectionaries and toys."

A small blond boy holding a stuffed rabbit nodded with a wide smile. "That's right, Yuri-chan always brings me a strawberry cupcake when she visits me," He said. "Takashi usually gets a coffee cake, though. She's a nice girl, right?"

"Yeah," Mori, the tall boy who'd stopped Sayuri earlier, spoke in agreement.

"You really should know our regulars, Haruhi," Kyoya said, not looking up from his notebook. "The last one, the boy with the eyepatch and not wearing the jacket, is Silver Kunai-san, the second in line to run the Clay to Crafts company. He's in the C class. His family is a major client of the Ootori family, so be polite."

"Heh," Haruhi hummed, looking them over. They were goofing around much like how you would see regular middle schoolers argue in a regular school. "They seem just like everyone else." Kyoya gave Haruhi an odd look but didn't comment.

"Ah, Ootori-senpai." Kunai, slightly out of breath, walked up to the teen and bowed. "It's nice to actually meet you. Thank you for always supporting my family."

Kyoya gave him a charming, polite smile, shaking his head. "No, no, thank _you_. It's because of your large donations every year that we can gain more knowledge in the medical industry." Kunai's smile wavered a bit but quickly solidified before turning to the rest of the group, looking over them curiously and stopping on Haruhi.

"Hey, aren't you...?" He leaned forward, looking Haruhi up and down. "Ah, you're the transfer student, Fujioka Haruhi-kun, right?"

"Yeah, that's right," Haruhi said, giving him a slightly surprised look.

"Hm, I could've sworn that they said you were a girl," Kunai mused, shrugging. "I guess the teachers got it wrong when they told us about it last year. School files are always pretty wonky, right?" Kunai laughed, unaware of the sudden tension in the group.

"Oh, actually-"

Two hands quickly covered Haruhi's mouth, the red-headed twins laughing along with Kunai. "Haha, Haruhi's as manly as they come, right, Kaoru?" The one on the right, Kaoru, nodded furiously, patting Haruhi on the back.

"Of course, Hikaru! I even saw him carry a damsel in distress to safety the other day." Kunai, completely lost at this point, nodded and gave them a slightly confused smile.

"Eh, good job...?"

"He really exudes a manly man aura, right, men?" Tamaki grinned, breaking out in a cold sweat, joining Kaoru in thumping poor Haruhi's back. "I feel like I'm becoming more of a man just by being near him!"

"Uh-huh..." Kunai glanced over at his friends, who shrugged in response. "Cool. Okay, so, I'm just gonna, like..." He gestured at his friends awkwardly, shuffling away slightly before his face lit up. "Oh, and Haruhi, let me know if you need anything, okay? This school's pretty confusing and even though I'm in C-class, I have pretty good grades. Oh, but I guess since you're an honour student, you don't have problems with that kind of stuff..." Kunai trailed off, coughing awkwardly as his face flushed red. "Okay, I'm gonna go now before I humiliate myself even more." He darted away, not waiting for Haruhi's late response.

"Yeah, thanks." Haruhi watched as Red dragged the two of them away and although he was quiet, it was clear that he was scolding them on their behaviour. Haruhi chuckled. "They seem pretty nice."

...

 **[A/n]: A quick chapter, but I thought I would get it up today. Happy holidays, everyone, and a happy new year!**


	3. Call the Cavalry!

**Thanks to 13dragons13fires** **for F/F!**

 **Chapter Three,**

 **Call the Cavalry!**

 **...**

"So, how did it go?"

" _Mmm, so-so. The doctors said I was improving at a steady rate, so that's good, right?"_

"Yeah."

" _...It's not your fault, y'know? How were you supposed to be able to tell if I was having a stroke?"_

"I should've noticed. I should've taken you to the hospital faster."

" _It's not_ —"

"But it _is_."

 _..._

Kunai sat in silence next to Red in the cafeteria, frantically scribbling down the answers to his math homework. It was due tomorrow and he didn't want to have to do it after work. His cousin, Yui, would probably want to play with him so he wouldn't have time to do it.

"So..." Red glanced up from his phone, looking over at Kunai. "What're you gonna do about the whole thing with the Host club? You aren't a part of it, so you can't go there after school."

Kunai shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe I'll make friends with one of them somehow or I could join a club that's near them." Kunai knew he said he would 'protect' Tamaki, but wouldn't a regular bodyguard do? Why did they need a Yokai (albeit, a half human one) to come in and guard him? The school finding people frozen or finding someone in a cage of ice would be much more suspicious. "Oh, isn't the black magic club right next door to them?"

"You know there're a bunch of weirdos in there, right?"

"Yeah, but even so, there could be someone that could help me." Kunai let out a groan, banging his head against the table. "I wish Haruka was here. She would know what to do."

"Are you kidding?" Red snorted. "Haruka would just march in there and demand to become one of their members." The boy paused, thinking. "Maybe you should ask her. How's Haru doing? I haven't talked to her in a while."

"Pretty good, apparently," Kunai said with a smile. "I haven't been able to see her lately because of work, but I'm planning on visiting her Saturday." _Come to think of it, I have a shift tonight._

"Maybe I'll come with you."

"She would probably like that. Haru's been having problems getting around, so the doctors have been making her take physiotherapy—it's driving her batty." Kunai snickered, pushing away his math homework. "Speaking of, Yui's afraid of bats now, so if she asks you to kill the monsters for her when you come over, be prepared."

"Haha, okay."

...

 _How can I get close to them?_ Kunai's mind drifted as he walked down the hallways of Ouran, heading for the outside. He had agreed to help Red and Sayuri with his project, so he'd stayed longer than usual. Kunai waved absentmindedly to a few girls that greeted him. _The chairman said he had a way for me to get close but he didn't elaborate, so that was about as useful as my math class._

Thinking about math made his mood drop, causing Kunai to scowl. "Math is hard as it is, why do we need to add letters into the mix?"

"Kunai-kun!"

Kunai turned around with a feeling of dread, recognizing the voice. "Suoh-san?" The chairman of the school strode confidently down the hallway toward him. Kunai eyed him suspiciously as the chairman came to a stop. "How can I help you, sir?"

Yuzuru gave him a charming smile, patting Kunai on the back. "You have a moment, don't you? Come with me for a while. I have someone I want you to meet." Yuzuru winked at Kunai, leading him back down the way he came.

Kunai gestured at his phone. "You don't mind if I...?"

"Oh, go ahead, let your driver know you'll be late."

Kunai typed furiously, shooting a quick message to his driver to apologize, then sending one to his group chat.

 **To: Loserssss** _ **(Last edited by Picture_Perfect3 yesterday)**_

 **DogDork:** _Souh's dragging me to his office. If I don't text in an hour, send the calvary_

 **Forest_Chick3331:** _Rly? Y?_

 **Dog_Dork:** _Idk. Let you know later._

 **Picture_Perfect3:** _Can I keep ur dogs if u die_

 **DogDork:** _No, you aren't having my dogs Tao. If I die, ur coming with me_

Ignoring the buzzing protest of his friend, Kunai hastily shoved his phone in his pocket and tried to catch up with the older man. "So, uh, who do you want me to meet?"

"Remember when I said I'd find you a way into the host club?" Kunai nodded along, shoving his hands in his pockets. Out of habit, Kunai rubbed the fabric beneath his fingers which helped him calm his nerves. "This person will be your way in. I'm fairly certain you'll be able to tell who he is the moment you see him." _Oh?_

Yuzuru slowed his pace at the end of the corridor, Kunai following suit and stopping in front of Yuzuru's office. Kunai offered a polite smile to the secretary who nodded back. Kunai doubted she recognized him.

Kunai watched as Yuzuru grinned, eyes twinkling with mischief, and knocked on the door. "Guess who it is?"

"Dad!" A blond flew out of the office with a flurry of annoyance. He was very tall and towered over Kunai - who was a mere 5'9. "You said you'd be here when school ended!"

"I lied." The blond's eyebrow twitched, but he sighed, seeming used to his father's antics. "You're so cute when you're angry, Tamaki."

Tamaki looked like he wanted to retaliate, but noticed Kunai. The teen coughed awkwardly as he straightened his tie, his cheeks slightly flushed. "My apologies..." Tamaki made a noise of surprise. "Oh, aren't you-?"

Kunai gave him a polite smile and bowed slightly. He knew who this was, all right. "Silver Kunai, second son and third child of the Silver family. Nice to meet you again, Suoh-senpai." _Oh, Amaterasu, what have I gotten myself into?_

The chairman's son looked him up and down with a hum. "Well, he could use some cleaning up, but he'll do. This is the one you wanted to talk to me about, right, dad?" _Oh, dear lord, I bet Suoh-senpai will be just as manipulative as his father. This is going to be great._

"That's right," Yuzuru said, shooting a wink at Kunai. "He's a very capable boy, so I'm sure he can handle it."

Kunai's sense of foreboding grew. _Capable of what?_ "Ah, sure, I'm pretty adaptable so I think I can do... _it."_

Tamaki hummed, a slight crease appearing in his brow. "The real problem is his sloppy way of dress and lack of enthusiasm." Tamaki gestured to his lack of suit jacket and messy tie. "If you're going to be a part of the host club, you'll have to sharpen up!"

... _Uh, say what?_

The chairman laughed, nudging Kunai in the side, a message to keep it up. "Of course, he'll dress the part as well. After all, it is to balance Silver-kun's academic record. Maybe if he does well, we can boost him up to B class," Yuzuru said, glancing at Kunai, who was trying to process how 'a way in' became 'join the club'. "Besides, his friend - Sayaka-san, was it? She goes there too, so you could get her to help break him in as well."

"Sayako," Kunai corrected, "Her name is Sayako Sayuri."

Tamaki gave him a goofy grin. "Ah, Sayuri-hime," he said. Hearing a complete stranger call Sayuri by her first name annoyed Kunai. "She's one of Honey-senpai's regulars. She's a nice girl."

"Yeah, until you piss her off." Kunai smiled dryly. "Have you ever woken up to ants crawling in your bed?"

Tamaki looked a little pale. "Erh, no, I haven't. Surely there must've been a mix-up-"

Kunai looked unconvinced. "A mix-up with my bedsheet and a bunch of bugs in the middle of the night while I was sleeping. Sure."

The chairman cleared his throat. "Anyway, Tamaki, I'm sure you can show Silver-kun the ropes, right? It wouldn't be too much trouble for you to have a new friend to add to your club."

Tamaki perked up. "Friend?" He grinned widely. "Of course not! Follow me, Kunai - I can call you Kunai, right?"

"Uh-"

"Great!" Tamaki grabbed Kunai's wrist - "Wow, your skin is really cold!" - and promptly dragged him out of the office, blabbering on about the history of the school. Kunai struggled to get away, saying something about personal space.

Their voices faded as they paraded down the hall, leaving Yuzuru alone once again. He savoured the quiet - as much as he loved his son, peace wasn't something that normally followed Tamaki.

"Well," the chairman said after a moment, sitting down in his chair with a groan. "That could've been worse." Yuzuru sat in the silence, waiting for a reply that would never come. He leaned forward, lost in thought. He sighed, running a gentle hand down the wooden frame of a photo encasing his son. "No matter what I have to destroy - be it my own relations or another company's business - I promise I will make a future for you... _and_ your mother."

...

"-a place for beautiful boys with too much time on their hands to entertain young ladies who _also_ have way too much time on their hands." Tamaki spun in an elegant circle, gesturing around the Music room.

It was a nice room, as expected of Ouran Academy, although not as aesthetically to Kunai pleasing as his own home. There were soft, plush red couches scattered across the floor, each with their own hand-carved wood table in between. Several windows and large chandeliers allowed for light to enter the room. Oddly enough, there was also a curtained off area that drew Kunai's attention.

"Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful," Tamaki finished with a smile. "After all, you will be staying here for a while." _Does he realize how ominous that sounds?_ "Do you need me to repeat anything?"

The tedious and boring lecture about the history of the school made him shudder. "No!" Kunai caught himself and cleared his throat. "I mean, no, thank you. I think I got most of it." A lie. It was so boring that Kunai started wondering what the maids were making for dinner that night. It was pasta yesterday, so there might be a salad of some kind that night. The head chef loved making salads. _Gods, where is my mind going?_ "Um, Suoh-senpai?"

Tamaki raised an eyebrow. "What is it, little one?"

 _Little-?_ Against his better judgment, Kunai ignored the pet name. "What exactly is it that you want me to do?"

"I'm so glad you asked!" Tamaki broke into another grin and walked over to one of the couches. He sat down and crossed his legs, pointing a finger in the air. "I want _you_ to be a host!"

Kunai looked at him blankly. "And that entails...?"

"Talking to the ladies, offering them tea, pleasing them, and entertaining their wishes," Tamaki said. "The Ouran High School Host Club is here for one reason," He smiled, one much warmer than the ones he's given before. "And that is to make every girl happy."

Kunai hummed, a little impressed. He'd expected him to have some kind of ulterior motives, but it didn't seem that way. Tamaki appeared to genuinely want to make everyone happy. _He's similar to Haru_. "So you want me to talk to the girls and make them happy? That's it?"

"That's it," Tamaki agreed. "We have an event coming up soon too, so it'll be a great time to introduce you to the girls."

Kunai looked Tamaki up and down. The blond had gentle blue eyes and a friendly air, his body language open and relaxed. His clothes were immaculate and tidy, no wrinkle to be seen. "You know, Suoh-senpai-"

"Call me king!"

Ignoring him, Kunai continued. "You aren't what I expected at all. You're actually pretty nice."

"Pardon?"

Kunai shook his head with a chuckled. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing at all."

Tamaki looked baffled for a moment before shaking it off and returning back to his normal self. "Now for some training!"

"Huh?"

...

"Ugh," Kunai groaned, leaning over the counter of the cafe. "I'm _so_ done." Tao glanced over at him, an eyebrow raised. "Who knew there were so many ways to pick up a cup?"

"Your meeting with the chairman turned into a lesson on picking up cups?" Tao grinned. "Damn, you really are a rich kid. Why are you working here again?"

Kunai scowled. "Yeah, I am, and I came here because I wanted to get my mom a surprise birthday gift. She liked it, I liked it, so I stayed." Kunai gave him a pointed stare, as he'd explained for what felt like the millionth time. "And no, the meeting with the chairman was so I could meet his son. Apparently I'm a..." Kunai paused, trying to remember the word. "It was an English word, so it's kind of hard to pronounce. At any rate, Suoh-senpai started teaching me how to place cups, pour tea, smile, greet, you name it. I never knew there was an improper way to smile."

"Sucks to suck, doesn't it?" Tao gave Kunai a pristine customer service smile. "It's harder to get better than perfection." He flipped his hair teasingly. "If only you had the charisma I do."

Kunai snorted. "Yeah? If you want to take my place, be my guest." Kunai pursed his lips together. "The worst part of it was that he kept trying to touch me - you know how cold my skin is. He'll start getting concerned and then how will I explain that I have a body temperature that's about fifteen degrees below normal?" He sighed. "First world problems."

"I think you're about the only person who has that problem."

A voice from behind startled them. "I don't pay you two to chat, you know. If you have nothing to do, mop the floor!" A boy with spiky black hair handed Kunai a mop and a bucket. His sharp brown eyes gave a focused stare that would make anyone squirm.

"Yessir," Kunai drawled unenthusiastically. "I'll get right on it, Manager-san."

"Haha, you pissed off Ryuu-kun."

Ryuu, the black haired boy, faced Tao and handed him a sponge and a pail of water. "You do the bathrooms."

"Aw, what?" Ryuu rolled his eyes and walked away. "But I thought I was your favourite!"

"My favourite is Sayuri-chan, who actually does her job without flirting, taking pictures, and chatting the entire time she's on break." Ryuu pushed through the half-door that lead to the kitchen. Tao shrugged. It was true.

" _Haha, you pissed off Ryuu-kun,"_ Kunai whispered Tao's words back mockingly.

Tao let out a playful growl and lightly punched Kunai with his fist. "You wanna go? I'll take you down, bro - let's take this outside!"

Ryuu poked his head back through the door. "How about you both go outside - and bring the trash with you!"

"So I just have to carry Tao."

"Listen here, you-!"

...


End file.
